Why Can’t I Relax? Common Causes

5 Min Read | By Rosie Weatherley

Last Modified 24 September 2026   First Added 24 September 2026

This article was written and reviewed in line with our editorial policy.

Many of us know that finding time to relax is important for our wellbeing, but it’s often not so easy to do. When we can’t make time to relax, this can impact lots of areas of our life, like our sleep, energy levels, and mood.

In this article, we’ll explain some of the common barriers to relaxation, give some tips for relaxing, and provide information on where to get more help with stress, anxiety and worry.

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Common barriers to relaxation

There are lots of reasons we might find it hard to relax. And some barriers might be more common in different life stages or circumstances. For example, having a newborn baby, experiencing menopause, or school exams can all have an impact at different times in our life.

Some barriers to relaxation include:

  • Our environment: We might live or work in a place that makes relaxation very hard. For example, working in a hospital or living in a very noisy area. This might make us feel on alert a lot of the time and make it hard to find moments of peace.
  • Being busy: We might have a lot of things going on in our lives and feel like we don’t have a spare moment to relax. We might be busy with things like parenting, caring responsibilities, or work. We could even be busy with fun things, like holiday celebrations. These can still make us feel stressed, particularly if there is a lot to organise or pressure for things to go a certain way.
  • Difficult events: It can be hard to relax when we experience hard times in life. This could include a bereavement, losing a job, or problems with relationships. These things might make us feel stressed or very low, occupy our minds, and make it hard to enjoy things we normally find relaxing.
  • Health problems: Problems with our mental and physical health can make relaxation hard. For example, if you have a health problem that causes you a lot of physical pain, it might be really hard to feel relaxed in your body. Mental health problems can often impact our thoughts, making it hard to switch off and find a moment of calm.

These factors can all make us feel very stressed, anxious and overwhelmed. It might also cause physical symptoms, like chest pain, feeling sick, or headaches. These feelings make it very hard to find the time to relax, or properly calm down when we try and do something relaxing. We might also find it hard to focus and sleep.

It’s important to remember there is no official list of what a barrier to relaxation might be. Sometimes we might not be able to pinpoint a specific thing that is making it hard to relax, or there might be a lot of things impacting us.

Tips for overcoming barriers to relaxation

Relaxation is different for everyone. We all find different things relaxing and will all experience different barriers to relaxing. This will impact what works for us. You might be experiencing multiple barriers, which might need different approaches. As we go through life, new things might pop up that prevent us from relaxing, which might need new techniques to overcome.

Some of these tips might be helpful:

1. Identify your barriers, if you can

It can help to take some time to work out what might be impacting your stress. Think about things going on in your life, your feelings, and your environment. Once you know more about why you can’t relax, you can then take steps to address those issues. It’s not always possible to overcome all barriers, but sometimes just knowing what they are can make a difference.

2. Ask for help

If you’re coping with a lot of things at once, it’s OK to ask for help. You might want to ask someone close to you to take some things off your plate, or seek support from healthcare professionals or charities for certain issues. You might not be able to get help with everything you are going through, but finding support for just a few things can make a big difference.

3. Be kind to yourself

Not being able to relax can make us feel irritable, and we might be very negative about ourselves. This might make us feel like we don’t deserve to relax. Try to remember you’re doing your best, and reward yourself for achievements, even if they seem small.

4. Try different relaxation techniques

If you used to find something relaxing and it isn’t helping as much anymore, it’s OK to try something new. You might find that different techniques work for different situations. Relaxation techniques could include things like breathing exercises, or mindfulness. Find more recommendations in Mind’s full list of techniques.

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Where to get more help

If you’re having trouble overcoming some of the barriers to relaxation on your own, there is support available.

If you’re experiencing problems with your mental of physical health, it might help to visit a GP to talk about what support might be available. If you’re having trouble with things like money or housing, there is support available from places like the council or charities.

Mind has information on different types of support you can access for different things, such as:

Browse more relaxation tips on the Mind Relaxation Hub, only on Dreams’ Sleep Matters Club.

About the author

Rosie Weatherley, Mind
Rosie Weatherley

Rosie leads Mind’s team of mental health experts, who research and author Mind’s public-facing information. She supports Mind as a media spokesperson and in developing thought leadership on contemporary issues in the sector, ensuring Mind maintains and platforms its interdisciplinary, multi-model understanding of mental health. She is committed to epistemic justice in health information, interested in patient-clinician power dynamics, and in preventing iatrogenic harm. Before joining Mind, Rosie managed information services at the disability charity Scope.

See all articles by Rosie Weatherley

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