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With big feelings and imaginations, children often have nightmares about real life worries. If your little one is struggling with bad dreams, we have plenty of advice on how to help them sleep better.
5 Min Read | By Lottie Salako
Last Modified 30 September 2025 First Added 15 September 2015
Nightmares can be upsetting for children and exhausting for parents. When your little one wakes at night, frightened and wanting to climb into your bed, it can be tricky to know how to respond. Understanding why nightmares happen and learning simple ways to soothe your child can make a big difference to their sleep—and yours. We spoke to child psychologist Dr Laura Kauffman for her expert tips on helping children feel safe and calm, preventing nightmares, and soothing them back to sleep.
Most of our dreaming happens during the REM (rapid eye movement) stage of sleep, and children spend almost twice as much time in REM sleep as adults. Kids also have a much more active imagination as they cope with more novel experiences moving through the world. We process a lot of information while we sleep, and just like with adults, stress and anxiety can manifest as nightmares.
Since most children will have a nightmare or bad dream, it’s important to know soothing strategies that will help kids (and grown-ups!) get back to sleep. Here are Dr Kauffman’s top tips:
Help your child understand and identify their experience as a dream. Labelling it for them will help them feel calmer. It will also enable them to distance themselves from the scary images they saw in their dream. Normalise their fear and anxiety as understandable and typical reactions to a scary dream.
Remember to remind them that they are safe and that the scary situation did not happen in real life. Sometimes, it can be difficult to be sympathetic when we are tired ourselves, but for your child, the nightmare – whatever happened – is a genuine source of anxiety and upset. Children need to be taught how to soothe their emotions and require external comfort from the adults in their lives, so use your parental magic to banish the bad thoughts.
Once they have had a bad experience, it’s extremely important to support them to go back to sleep, or they can get into a cycle of avoiding sleep to put off another nightmare. While it’s important for children to develop independence at bedtime, they still need support when nightmares occur. By showing them how to cope with their fears, you equip them with the tools to eventually manage bad dreams on their own.
We’ve all had those dreams that stay with us, and it’s the same for children. The day after a nightmare is a crucial time to support them and create coping strategies before bedtime. They may feel stressed about what happened in their dreams or have anxiety about going to sleep that night, so continuous reassurance can bring tension down before it causes an issue.
If your child is struggling with persistent nightmares, don’t worry. You can help them with some practical strategies from Dr Kauffman that will reduce the likelihood they will go to bed stressed, helping to promote serene dreams.
Although it may be obvious to you, it can be useful to teach and remind children about dreams.
“Remember to use developmentally appropriate language to help children understand that dreams contain scary content that did not happen in real life. You might say, ‘Dreams are films and pictures that our brain plays at night to help us learn or work through things that are scary or overwhelming. They are not real and did not happen in real life.”
Children are more sensitive to frightening images in films, TV, or online content than adults. Exposure to scary scenes can trigger nightmares. Limit intense or frightening media, especially right before bed, even for older kids and teens.
Many children prefer a night light, but bright lights can interfere with natural sleep cycles by suppressing melatonin. Use a dim night light or overhead light with a dimmer, gradually lowering brightness over time to help your child adjust while still feeling safe.
A calm and cosy bedtime routine can help your child relax, fall asleep more easily, and keep nightmares at bay. Try simple techniques like progressive muscle relaxation or guided imagery each night. You can also use fun resources like Lori Lite’s CDs and books, or kid-friendly audiobooks and YouTube meditations to make winding down more enjoyable.
Dr Laura Kauffman explains: “Around age three or four, children often start reporting nightmares. At this stage, their imagination is flourishing, pretend play is expanding, and they are beginning to understand danger and things that could harm them. The content of their dreams usually reflects their developmental stage. Very young children may dream about losing a favorite stuffed animal, being separated from a caregiver, or someone being angry at them. Older children may dream about monsters or more realistic threats, like burglars or being kidnapped.”
Recurring nightmares often come from stress, anxiety, or big emotions that children are trying to process. Their vivid imaginations can replay worries from school, home, or even TV in their dreams.
Changes in routine, new experiences, or ongoing concerns can trigger repeated bad dreams. Sometimes, the brain simply needs extra time to work through these feelings. Understanding what might be behind the nightmares is the first step in helping your child feel safe, calm, and more in control at bedtime.
Often, after a bad dream, children may be reluctant to sleep alone and want to join you in bed. How you respond is ultimately a personal choice that reflects your parenting style.
Dr Kauffman suggests: “Consider your values around sleeping arrangements to guide your decision. If you regularly allow your child to sleep with you, it’s reasonable to let them join you after a nightmare if it helps them feel safe and fall back asleep.”
If you prefer that your child generally sleeps in their own bed, Dr Kauffman advises: “Offer to stay with them for a few minutes to help them calm down. Rub their back and speak in a gentle, reassuring tone so they know they are safe and you’re nearby.”
While some people may talk or move about while having a nightmare, a night terror is much more extreme. Usually caused by stress, night terrors happen during NREM (non-rapid eye movement), which is why people have a more active reaction, such as shouting, thrashing around, or sleepwalking.
Although scary, they are not harmful unless they’re causing sleep deprivation or causing your child to get into dangerous situations while sleepwalking. Learn more about night terrors and how to reduce them.
Nightmares are a normal part of childhood, but with patience, reassurance, and a few simple strategies, you can help your little one feel safe and supported at bedtime. By teaching them to understand their dreams, offering comfort when they wake, and creating a calming nighttime routine, you’ll give them the tools to cope with bad dreams and enjoy more peaceful, restful sleep.
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