Should You Keep A Mattress From A Previous Relationship?

4 Min Read | By Leigh Horan

Last Modified 17 January 2024   First Added 6 September 2016

This article was written and reviewed in line with our editorial policy.

After a long-term relationship breakup it’s easy to cling on to what’s familiar to keep a sense of stability. This rings true even if you have some hurtful memories attached to possessions you’d shared with your ex. Other people prefer to dispose of absolutely everything related to a former flame, in order to move on.

But what happens when the things you shared with this person were necessary for everyday life? It’s easy to discard a comfy t-shirt or a novelty mug, but less so to dispose of something as essential as the mattress you sleep on every night.

A fresh start

Getting rid of possessions built up during an old relationship can feel really cathartic. The obvious things to discard include sentimental gifts and photographs, however bigger items are more complex. For example, mattresses are important purchases and if you owned or shared one with your ex for a long time it may feel like it’s theirs too. This makes getting rid of it a tough decision to make so it’s worth listening to the opinions of relationship experts.

Emma Johnson at Elle magazine says a mattress is one of the three most important things you should part with after a long-term relationship. She believes it can hold an intense amount of energy from the amount of time you both spent there and so it can continue to stimulate painful memories.

If you’re finding that where you sleep is a space where you dread to see the ghosts of former romances, then it’s best to get rid of what’s causing you so much stress. Closing that chapter on your life could be as simple as investing in a new mattress.

image of sad woman looking at photo

Negativity and your mattress

A bed is an intimate item and when you’ve moved onto a new relationship, your mattress should simulate only positive feelings. Navigating a new relationship after you’ve been in a long one is difficult enough, and spending any time in a bed that your partner shared for a long time with someone else could make some people feel uneasy. If your partner expresses discomfort at your sleeping situation, and you’ve been considering upgrading your mattress anyway, then replacing your mattress may be a wise move.

Image of woman awake at night

Of course, mattresses need replacing after eight years to best provide you with the most support throughout the night, so buying a new mattress could benefit your new relationship in more ways than one. Sleeping on an old mattress can lead to sleepless nights which can understandably lead to increased stress and irritability between partners.

Buying a new mattress will stop a new partner from being miserable about the ties you still have to an ex. It will also stop you both from lying awake at night trying to find a comfortable spot on a mattress that’s seen better days.

To buy or not to buy

Of course, if your mattress is still under eight years old, in good condition, and you feel no emotional connection, then there’s no essential need to replace it.

However, a new mattress will benefit your sleep enormously, providing you with the comfort and support so necessary for a restful night. Thankfully, it can also really help you move forwards with your life. Feng Shui expert Carol M. Olmstead believes you should get a new mattress because when you sleep on your old one ‘you sleep with the negative energy from your former lover.’

Whatever you decide, the decision is a big one, but if you have the option to buy a new mattress then this is the best time. After all, now you can buy a mattress that’s perfect for your sleeping habits and no-one else’s, with the option to spread your limbs over every inch of its surface . . .

Do you think you should discard a mattress from a previous bed frame? Let us know about your thoughts in the comments section.

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