Dreaming About An Ex

You may wonder what such dreams might mean if you’re in a happy relationship, or even if you’re single. How is dreaming about a person you once had a relationship with in the past relevant to your present?

Stress, big life changes, or unresolved issues resurfacing could trigger reoccurring or vivid dreams of an ex-partner. Dreams are notoriously complicated – we still don’t quite understand how they work, but we do know they’re part of how we process our experiences and memories. So, someone significant in your life is bound to reappear now and again, even if you’ve moved on in your waking hours. Let’s explore some of the reasons they might come up and how to respond…

Dreaming about your ex doesn’t have to mean that deep down in your heart you want to get back together, but it often has some kind of link to how you’re feeling in your day-to-day life.

These dreams can show that you’re emotionally or sexually dissatisfied, or you may have unresolved feelings, not necessarily of longing, for your ex that your subconscious mind is working through. Although the meaning of this dream can vary widely, as the dream itself can differ, the underlying meaning is usually something emotional.

However, there is very little reason to panic. Research by the Sleep Foundation found the occurrence of an ex in dreams depends on your relationship status at the time of the dream. A study found 35% of people in a relationship dreamed about their current partner or an ex, while just over 17% of single people dreamed about former partners.

Like most dreams, there’s usually a trigger in your everyday life that is bleeding into your subconscious and being processed – sometimes in very unexpected ways!

1. New relationship

A big trigger for ruminating over an old relationship is a new one. Whether you’ve just met someone you like or you’re taking next steps with your partner, it’s no surprise that you’ll think about past experiences.

It doesn’t mean that you’re unhappy with your current partner or secretly want your ex back. You’ll naturally make comparisons and draw connections, especially if the relationship is vastly different.

2. You saw them recently

This one probably doesn’t need explaining, but it is one to consider. If you’ve seen your ex or someone close to them recently, then it’s no surprise that they’re on your mind, even if you didn’t give it much thought at the time.

3. Big change in your life

Breakups can be a huge upheaval in your life, so it’s normal for your brain to go back to this time of stress when other things are changing. An ex is especially likely to pop up if you’re moving away from the place you shared with them or leaving the job you had while with them.

4. Pattern recognition

Your brain is ridiculously good at making connections, and that includes your emotional life, too. If you’re falling back into old habits or a current relationship is following the same trajectory as your previous one, then you might realise it unconsciously long before your conscious mind catches up. It may truly be a sign of dissatisfaction with some aspect of your life – however, it still doesn’t mean the answer is calling up an old flame!

5. Unresolved feelings

Sometimes, we don’t get the closure we need when we end a relationship. Particularly if it was a toxic environment. This means that you’ll have complicated, unresolved feelings for that person and what you experienced with them. While you might feel conflicted about that person, if they’re appearing in your dreams, then it’s probably time to do more self-reflection on how to let go finally.

1. Dreaming about a recent ex

2. Dreaming of getting back with your ex

3. Dreaming about your first love

4. Reliving the breakup in a dream

5. Dreaming of getting revenge on an ex

6. Dreaming about someone you never actually dated